Thursday, April 16, 2015

Like Mother Like Daughter

My headstrong daughter takes a lot of pleasure in telling me that she is a rebel - just like me. Am not sure where she picked the idea that I was rebellious but I suspect she has been talking to her grandmother. She even posted a meme on Facebook of a photo we took together and added a caption proudly declaring: 'Like Mother, Like Daughter!' This makes me wonder whether we are now the typical dysfunctional family. Whoever coined that phrase should have taken time to clearl...y define the functional family. Instead they have left me thinking that every family am related to through blood or marriage easily qualifies as dysfunctional. When I was growing up we did not blame our families for our bad behavior. If you did not study hard for your exams, you would not then tell everyone that the reason you got an 'F' on your English test was because of your dysfunctional family. You took responsibility. Today it appears that all the families that I know are at some point on the continuum from somewhat dysfunctional to over-board dysfunctional. If the wife makes all the hard decisions because the happy-go-lucky hubby will not make any decision at all, that is a dysfunctional family for some. If the man is domineering and no one else in the home is allowed an opinion, definitely dysfunctional. If the kids do not listen to either parent at all, yup, dysfunctional. The dysfunctional family has become a reliable excuse for an array of mistakes and crimes. A shop-lifter, wife batterer and serial killer are that way because they were raised in dysfunctional families. I have no doubt that families have a role in shaping character but I fear that a time is coming when the dysfunctional family will become a recognized defense in a criminal trial.

At 50 I know that there is a tendency to attribute all bad behavior to upbringing, blaming the adults and absolving kids from personal responsibility.  The result is kids with more rights than good sense.
feeling confused.

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