Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Letter to my teen daughters - about love...

1. There are many kinds of love and it is important to distinguish them and know the kind of love you may be feeling at any one time. They are different even though they may all lead to a very nice, warm feeling of contentment; their consequences are not always the same.
2. There is the love of God which religion makes compulsory but my prayer is that you may come to love God and know His love voluntarily, through building your own understanding and through the depth of your own spirituality. I strongly believe that no one can teach you God - you need to find Him yourself and you will experience a deep respectful and awesome love like no other. That love is all enduring and never changing. You can depend on it entirely.
3. The love of a father and mother is perhaps only next to God's in its purity and totality. It pains me that you have not known your father's love for as many years as I have known mine. Good parents treat you like princesses and see the best in you all through your life from the day you are born. They know you very well and remember your innocence as a child and to them you will always be the personification of their own love. You can trust the love of a parent to remain strong throughout your life but remember that unlike God, parents are human and their love comes with all their human failings and frailties.
4. The love for friends ranges from deep to superficial and sometimes you may not think of it as love at all. But remember that each time a friend picks you up when you are down they are showing you love. Learn to recognize those random acts of kindness and to return them because you will one day need some affectionate and thoughtful loving person to hold you steady in the changing fortunes of time.
5. The love for material things is at best superficial. When you say you love those shoes or that watch, think also of other verbs that you could have used to describe them - nice shoes, pretty watch; and know that they are inanimate objects incapable of loving you back. No matter how many things you 'love' and collect through your life, you will never feel the warmth of love from any of them and if you do not learn this early on you will wonder why you still feel empty inside even when you own so many things that you 'love.'
6. Cupid's love! I saved the best for last because I know this is the one you want to hear about. You probably think am too old fashioned to know anything about Cupid's love, huh? Do you know how long Cupid's been around? Think about that! I have accumulated more experience on the subject than the years the two of you have lived - put together. This love is perhaps the most heady of all, most deeply felt and most frightening because it leaves us vulnerable to another human being. It can be very passionate and make us compulsive making us believe that the subject of our feelings has super-human powers to make us happy or unhappy. It is so powerful that we are compelled to believe that there are no words that can express it fully and we feel the need to express it physically through many enjoyable acts of love. It can be the most rewarding and fulfilling if it is returned respectfully. It is also a love that bares your heart and soul and if the other person does not feel the same way that you do or has ulterior motives and recognizes your vulnerability, the consequences can be really hurtful and leave you wounded for a very long time, even for life, if you do not allow yourself to heal. Have no fear that you will be too old to love because Cupid is always at work and even your old mom may surprise you.

At 50 I know you can count on God's love and my love. My prayer is that you never let one bad experience blind you to the fact that you are the most lovable creatures and if someone fails to recognize that then it is not your fault.

— feeling in love

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